Keep an account of all child support and other martially-related bill payments. With well-organized data, you're giving your attorney the tools with which to prove and win your case, in any contested issue either during or after your divorce. The better you document things for your attorney, the more likely you are to get the result you want.
Keep an ongoing calendar as a valuable historical record of how you spend time with your kids. In particular, maintain a visitation log, including a written record of when you are supposed to see and speak with your kids, and when you actually do. If your spouse isn't sticking to your visitation agreement, you'll have evidence to show the Court. This is especially important if you sense that your spouse is attempting to alienate you from your children from you.
If you believe that your spouse is emotionally poisoning your children against you, keep an incident log of specific comments and behaviors your child exhibits, and certainly save all relevant e-mails. Courts look very unfavorably on the parent who attempts to destroy a relationship any child has with the other parent.
In New York State, any party to a conversation may record it without disclosing it. Tape recording may be a necessary strategy if you sense that your spouse is attempting to turn your children against you. However, speak to your attorney before making tapes of this sort, as various legal restrictions and tactical considerations may apply. The judge may be uncomfortable in dealing with secretly taped conversations, and your spouse is likely to be enraged by it.
Also, get receipts from your spouse. You need a written record of all financial and property related transactions. So don't give him or her cash or any property, such as silverware or an expensive piece of furniture, without getting a receipt for it.
Keeping these ongoing accounts is especially important with regard to child support payments, which have severe consequences on default. If you don't pay child support you can even go to jail.
A father retained McAdams Law in a child support case in which he was still being billed by the Child Support Collection Agency, after his children had all exceeded the age of twenty-one. His driver's license, and a professional license and privileges were suspended by the agency. The firm stopped the child collection order, and had all licenses and privileges reinstated. The Court ruled that he did not owe his former spouse any more money.